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14 November 2010 @ 10:33 pm
thinking  
Well hi there, journal. It has certainly been a while since I wrote something... journal-worthy.


So I think about a lot, and especially nowadays when I talk to old friends a lot. 

It's these days when I talk to old friends that I realize how much I miss you guys - how much I really didn't get to experience with you guys. I feel like I was a pathetic excuse for a teenager who was too angry at the world to look past her own nose and just ask for things. Ask to go out with someone, ask  how someone was feeling, ask how a relationship was going...

I was too selfish to see past my own small world, because I didn't know other worlds existed. I really ... regret the fact that I didn't get to see you guys as much as I should have, and that I didn't experience the new, grown-up people that everyone had become. I feel like I don't know you guys like I should.

The reason it's hard for me to deal with is that I still love you as much as I did when we were all great friends, and for some reason I don't feel like either a) I should, because I don't know you and b)  because of the fact that I was a retardedly stupid younger person.

You guys definitely define a part of who I am... and I feel like I can't let that go. So I want to apologize to you all.

But... life can restart anew, and thus so can relationships, right? I really miss you all. Really, really really really miss you.

In other news, we had a great stage presence workshop today. I got Beatles music and Paramore music and Anberlin from Amy. I finished my LAS paper and ate cookies that Amanda cooked and did my quantitative assignment like I was supposed to. What I didn't do?

I didn't prepare for my piano lesson noooeh .___.

Well, I fell down, but I got back up.
 
 
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Current Music: Godspeed - Anberlin